Talking to children about divorce is not a one-size-fits-all matter. Each family handles this subject differently. And you may even need to use different scripts if you have kids of different ages. Nonetheless, some topics should be discussed regardless of your case’s circumstances.
Here are three of those topics:
1. The divorce
Inform your kids that you are divorcing simply and honestly. Avoid giving them false hopes that you may get back together.
Additionally, tell them why you are getting a divorce. You don’t need to go into details, but it may also be confusing to only tell them that you are going your separate ways. You can tell them you want different things in life or have spent time working on the relationship but have realized it’s best not to stay married.
2. Things that won’t change
Divorce brings about changes that can make your kids anxious about the process. Telling them about things that won’t change can help them significantly. For example, inform them they are still and will always be loved by both parents, they will be taken care of as before etc.
Avoid discussing matters that you and your spouse have not yet settled. For example, don’t tell your children they won’t transfer schools or move to another neighborhood without adequate information.
3. Things that will change
Your kids deserve to know what will change. While you may not have enough information about custody at this time, you can prepare your children psychologically. Let them know you will give them more details later but they may have to move between two homes, make friends in a new neighborhood and so forth.
The details you provide your kids with when telling them about your divorce are crucial. You can help them have a smooth transition from the first conversation. Obtain more information to know what to inform them.